she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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