for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
