Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
You should frame my arrest warrant.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
