Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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