I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I think your dad took our porno
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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