Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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