WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
