K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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