If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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