im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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