Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
