If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
We had to coat check the pizza.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
