Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
You have to summon your inner elephant
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
