I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Randomize
