K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize