how can u be prego again
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
