I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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