The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
