Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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