I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
false alarm, still single
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
