My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
