I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
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