i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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