So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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