Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
