He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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