I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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