Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
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