KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
He shit in the fireplace
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