What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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