yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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