So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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