Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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