I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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