it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
