yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
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