Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
