The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Randomize
