4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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