Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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