i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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