Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
