I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
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