Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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