I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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