So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Green mimosas i think yes
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Randomize
