we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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