Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
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