I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize