How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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