I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
