We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Randomize
