I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
