I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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