I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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