So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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