Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
