did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
