Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
